Knowing What I Know
by lifethatyouhate
Summary: With Cliff, everything just fell together. With Gray, I had to work hard just to not get mad at him. So why was everything I thought I knew blurring into something I never considered? ClairexCliff, but eventual ClairexGray.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own Harvest Moon or any of the characters in the game. :( Darn!

I watched Cliff from behind the railing of Manna and Duke's Winery as he slowly reached for a grape, plucked it between two gentle fingers, and set it into the basket with loving care. How was it that every single motion he went through just seemed so…graceful? Just walking over to meet him I had tripped over first a pebble, and then a random tuft of grass in the middle of the road. Since when was grass growing right in the middle of the road, anyways?

Cliff spun around at that time even though I hadn't made a sound- I panicked at first, wondering if I had said something out loud- and then his expression softened into a smile. "Hello, Claire," he murmured, walking up to the railing and resting his arms on that side just as I was resting my arms on my side.

When had Cliff and I gotten to the point where he didn't cringe at such close contact? Our faces were almost inches apart as I rested my arms on top of the railing and my head on my arms, staring at him with a small smile. I remember moving here and helping him to get a job after Ann told me about his money problems, and I remember slowly starting to work beside him and hold hands and then kiss. Our whole relationship seemed to just…fall together. We never worked at it.

"Hey. Whatcha doin'?" I asked childishly, and he smiled at me. His hair was pulled back in that same dirty ponytail I wish he would cut off. I preferred guys with shorter hair, to be honest. But somehow, I had fallen for Cliff- well, sort of.

"My job," he said it as if it were obvious, but still grinned at me. He called my endless questions 'endearing.' Ann said he probably meant 'annoying,' but I think that's because she used to like him.

I laughed at him, poking him between the railing in the chest. "No, really?" I asked sarcastically, and he just smiled. I sort of wished he would say some sort of comeback, but he never did, and I don't blame him. It was all new for Cliff, and he still thought that it was all sort of crazy. I used to think it was all sort of perfect, actually. What other two people could boast about a relationship that just ran its course? I never once had to attempt to get Cliff's attention. I always did, and he tried to get my attention, and I gave it to him just like that.

"What did you do all day _besides_ work here?" I stressed the word besides and he grinned again. Shrugging, he told me, "Not much. All I really did today was work. What did you do?"

Cliff thought my life is interesting, for whatever reason, and he hung onto my every word as I told him, "Well, this morning Hannah and Anna got into a fight, so I had to build a fence for Hannah to run into, because Goddess knows if I let her roam around she would abandon me. I rode Piper all the way up to the mountain top and got back down in only twenty minutes, he's getting really fast. Then I just went shopping, and I got you _this_," I held out a wrapped present after probably boring him with chicken squabbles and horse speed.

I always picked up presents for people and had them wrapped. I didn't want to hurt Cliff's feelings, but I had stopped by the library with a book for Mary, to the ranch to drop off an apple for May, and to the church to drop off a meal for Carter. I was notorious for wasting money on people, but they didn't seem to mind- especially not Cliff. His whole face lit up as he grabbed the present, as if I hadn't given him one just two days ago.

Cliff always made presents, which I didn't mind. Occasionally he cooked something with Ann's help, but he was a terrible cook. A lot of times he would find some sort of shell at the beach or a smooth stone or a flower, and turn it into something somehow. Shape it, or carve something in it, or weave something out of it. "Wow, thanks Claire!" he interrupted me as he pulled out the rice ball I always gave him. He acted like I hadn't always given him one, but I smiled, grateful for that.

"Yeah, well. I just wanted to get you something," I shrugged innocently and smiled up at him as he brought his lips to my cheek in that awkward way he always did. Cliff had kissed me on the lips so few times I could count on my fingers, and seemed uncomfortable even kissing my cheek. We were unofficially going together, and yet he dreaded showing affection towards me, blushing madly at just this simple act.

He held out a sea shell. "I found it near the church today," he blushed again, and I took it, smiling simply. I probably had an entire drawer full of sea shells and stones and random wilted flowers. "It's pretty," I said, but it looked the same as the last one he had given me.

It was those sorts of times where I found myself rethinking everything Cliff and I had…gotten, as I couldn't say work for. Neither of us put much effort into getting something better, positive that things would just get better for us. I gave him presents, he gave me presents- the only problem was, I gave everyone presents. And these kisses on the cheek? Popouri had a habit of kissing people on the cheek. How many times had Kai kissed me on the cheek? It didn't seem to mean much at all.

But when I looked back at Cliff, with all of that adoration in his eyes- I remembered why I did like him. I sure didn't _love_ him- yet- but I did like him, and it was because of all that emotion I saw in him every day.

"Are you okay?" he asked, his eyes clouding over as he straightened up from his slouch to look at me properly. I smiled under his inspection, nodding. What else could I say? "I was having one of those I'm-not-sure-if-we-belong-together moments, don't worry?" So I nodded.

"You're going to get fat off rice balls," I pointed at the food. "Sorry," I added, shrugging and pretending I didn't care.

Cliff just grinned at me again. "No, I won't," he said very simply. I wished he would have played around like my other friends would have. I had done that with Carter, the seemingly perfect pastor, only to have him quip back with, "Well, I'll gladly welcome the fat if it keeps this stuff coming!"

"We can hope," I said dramatically, wiping my hand on my forehead as if the sun was blaring down, even though it was going down as we spoke. It was summer, but summer was winding down quickly into fall, and the cold air was already coming. Cliff grinned, knowing this. "So, when do you get off?"

"In twenty minutes. What are you doing after this?" he said this as if we were on a date, and not just standing around while he was supposed to be working. I hoped Duke didn't come out and see us like he had before, since he got pretty angry- no more discounted wine for me.

"I dunno. Nothin'." I shrugged, lifting up my chin for a moment to stare past him just in case, blink, and then set it down again. Cliff watched this all closely.

"Do you want to come to the inn when I'm done?" he gestured to the fields as if I didn't know what I was supposed to be waiting for. I watched though, pretending to give him my full attention. I always tried to make it seem like whoever I was talking to had my full attention.

"Yeah, sure. Isn't Kai leaving in a few days? Maybe he'll be there. I'll miss him once fall comes around," I grinned, feeling stupid when Cliff's face fell slightly. Kai was a flirt, but if you broke through that he was a good friend, and he had coached Cliff along in the whole 'relationship' process. Otherwise, Cliff would still be staring at me stupidly while I walked into the church _every single day_.

He nodded. "Yeah, he's leaving the last day of summer, as usual." He looked back at the grapes. "Well, I have to take the basket in to Manna," he picked up a basket stuffed almost to the brim with Manna and Duke's best grapes. "But I'll see you soon," he blushed at me a bit, and, after a moment of what looked like extreme deliberation, pushed his lips against mine.

I grinned widely as he turned, blushing, and walked away. When Cliff got the courage up to do something like that, it was amazing. It reminded me all over again why I liked him- it seemed like every time I started to feel doubts he reassured me somehow or other.

But then I walked into the inn, prepared to wait for Cliff with the always happy Ann, and _he_ was there. Why did he of all people have to be here? Well, of course- because he lived here. But why did he have to be her right now?

"Hey, Claire," Gray smirked at me over his cup of juice. "You never stop by the blacksmith's. Those tools of yours are holding up good, then?" This had to be some sort of ruse. Gray was never this…conversational. He was just plain rude.

The last time I spoke with him, he proved that.

Author's Note: Sorry, there's not much happening in this chapter, but I just have to establish what's going on. :) Thanks for reading, everyone, and I hope you come back to read the next chapter! Sorry if you think any of these characters, or the characters to come, are ooc, but I'm not sure if Harvest Moon characters can really be 'ooc.' I mean, we have such little to go off of, I feel like in every fan fiction people have to make the characters a bit of their own. :) Well, thanks!


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I do not own Harvest Moon or any of the characters in it.

_I wiped my dirty hands off on my overalls as I stood up from my crops, having harvested the last bit I could of the potatoes. I dumped them as gently as I possibly could into the shipping bin, wishing I could take off these muddy clothes already- stupid rain! - But I still had to harvest the turnips. Summer was coming tomorrow- I had already put things off this late._

_I was about to pull a turnip gently out of the ground when Gray's voice sounded. "Someone's put their work off, huh?" he sneered as I jumped in shocked and toppled over, ending up ripping my turnip out of the ground. The roots were severed weirdly- less money in shipping. I glared at him and dropped it off into my shipping bin._

He's probably just a little down_, I told myself, walking over to greet him politely with the smile I had used to warm up even the most cold hearted villagers. "What are you here for, Gray?" I asked._

_He shoved my new gold axe at me, and I caught the wooden handle roughly in the stomach. I doubted that was what he intended, so I hesitantly asked him, "Something wrong, Gray? You seem upset."_

_He turned angry eyes to me. "Since when do you care, Claire? I just brought over your stupid axe for you because you couldn't pick it up since you put off all your work until the last day of spring."_

_I stared up at him, my eyes wide. "Goddess, Gray, what's your problem?" I demanded, utterly confused._

_"Nothing," he sneered. I rolled my eyes. "Well, something is obviously wrong with you, or you wouldn't be acting like such a jerk!" I snapped._

_Gray's small smirk disappeared as he told me "Shut the hell up, Claire." The words seemed to…natural in his voice. I wanted to hit him, but I just tossed my new axe to the side and shouted at his retreating figure, "Fine! Go to hell, Gray!"_

I glared at him, the flashback truly unnecessary. I thought about what he had said often, sighing as I had finished harvesting, sighing when I had tilled new soil for new crops, sighing as I had planted said crops. Every time I got ready to farm his stupid words were in the back of my head. Gray always had a way of sticking back there, no matter what he said.

"Claire?" he asked, one eyebrow raised. I stared at him for a moment, silent, and, using all my self control, turned and walked up to Ann, sitting myself on a stool by her. It was bizarrely hard being mad at someone. It was unnatural, for me at least.

"Whoa, rejection much?" she whispered, giving me a weird look as she set a cup of water down in front of me- the only free thing there was in this entire place. Still, I wouldn't argue.

"I hate him. He's a jerk," I mumbled, downing the glass immediately. Ann rolled her eyes as she refilled it- "Do you know how much of the water supply I'm draining just to appease you, Claire?"- but did it anyways, setting it down in front of me and watching as I drank half of that one in one gulp. Hey, farming is hard work!

"Do tell. I want to know all about why you've refused to even go near the blacksmith's these past few days." I stared at her incredulously. Now, since I haven't told Ann anything, how does she know about that? "Popouri told me about how you caught her at the Goddess Pond and asked her to send over feed, and I noticed you always came from the right side, and you would walk all the way around even if you wanted to go straight past it and to the Winery to visit Cliff. Come on, Claire- what did Gray do?"

I made a face. "He was born. That's enough, isn't it?" I drank the rest of my water, but Ann's eyes were too focused on something past me to even notice.

"Oh, hi Gray!" Ann said in her bubbly voice, shooting me a quick look out of the corner of her eye to assure me that she wasn't kidding as she grabbed my cup and disappeared to the back room. I had a feeling I wasn't going to get another refill, but I was going to be spied on.

"Look, Claire, I know you're really mad at me," Gray said awkwardly, pulling his hat in front of his face as he sat down on the stool next to me. I wished I had the cup so I could fidget with something, since rocking back and forth on my stool was starting to get a little frightening given that I kept almost toppling over.

"You don't know that," I snapped, and Gray grinned a bit as he watched me. I could feel his eyes on me as I stared down at the counter like the wood had suddenly become extremely interesting. "Come on, Claire, you said my being born was bothering you," he pointed out, smirking a bit.

_Stay angry, _I coached myself. I had a habit of forgiving people fast.I looked at him through my best attempt at narrowed eyes. "You're a jerk, Gray, or do you not remember?" I muttered through clenched teeth. How long had I been there? When was Cliff coming?

"I remember Claire, but listen-," I swiveled away from Gray mid-sentence and stared off at the door. If I couldn't see him, I couldn't forgive him. "Claire, c'mon. Just listen, at least." He leaned towards me, and I spun away even more, so I could not even see him out of peripheral vision. I heard him sigh behind me. "I'm…sorry for yelling at you, alright?"

"So sincere," I mocked him, and I could hear him let out another sigh- a more annoyed, frustrated sigh. His voice was angry as he started to say, "Damn it Claire, why do you always have to be so stubborn? You're-,"

At that moment the door chimed open, and Cliff walked in, staring at the scene in front of him. His sort of girlfriend spinning her chair away from his friend as his friend shouted at her- great.

Well, you couldn't really say Gray and Cliff were _friends_. Sure they were room mates, but Cliff chose my side when Gray had shouted at me that day, and after having to comfort me it wasn't so easy for him to chat to Gray as if nothing had happened, though he wasn't mean to him either.

"Hey, Claire," he smiled at me as he took the seat on the other side of me. "Gray," he added on, nodding politely. I looked back at the door behind the counter and Ann peeked out, making faces at me to signal something. I looked away from her, back to Cliff.

"Hey. Was Duke satisfied with a giant basket full this time?" Once he had shouted at Cliff for not filling it enough- he had been drunk, of course- even though he had gotten more than one basket full.

Cliff grinned, nodding. I reached into my pocket, fingering the sea shell. Gray stood up, giving a strangled smile to Cliff. "Hey, Cliff," he said, and then turned towards me. "I'll see you around, Claire."

I shrugged, staring up at him as he sighed and walked up the stairs quickly. Cliff opened his mouth to say something, but then Ann leapt at me. "Goddess, Claire, you should just let him tell you what he wants to say! He just wants to apologize! Accept it; he wants to be your friend."

Ann is my good friend, but she thinks she knows everything. "No, Ann! You didn't hear what he told me last time we saw each other. He was so…mean!" Ann sighed, listening to me quietly as she set another glass full of water in front of me. Hearing myself say it out loud was embarrassing; _mean_? Ann and I were mean to each other all the time and we were still best friends.

Gray and I had been friends for two years, and this wasn't the first fight we had. For some reason, whenever one of us said anything mean we both took so much offense. I half wished I could turn back time and just take the axe and go away. Gray's mood swings were constant, and maybe that was something I had to put up with if I wanted to still be his friend.

But, then again, I didn't want to forgive him- yet. I wanted to wait until he seemed _really _guilty. If he wanted to save our friendship, he would keep trying anyways, wouldn't he?

Cliff watched us silently, and I saw Ann shoot a look at him and felt a pang of guilt. I wondered if Ann really did like Cliff, like everyone had hinted to me over a million times. If she did…then she was a really good friend to me, not even saying anything. So, what kind of friend was I being? What kind of friend was I being to anyone?

"Claire, he's trying. You have to give him credit. I haven't heard Gray apologize to anyone in…my entire life. This was a first. I should mark it on the calendar, or something," she giggled, and Cliff and I grinned.

"Yeah, and then he'll read the calendar and think you're a stalker," I joked, and we both waited a bit to see if Cliff would chime in, but he just grinned. He was too nice to say anything about Gray, even if he hated him or disliked him or didn't care about him or whatever. I had no idea what was going through Cliff's mind, really. I rarely did.

Ann never seemed to mind when Cliff didn't add in jokes. Actually, Cliff did sometimes, when he talked to Ann. She kept going until he just _had_ to throw something in. It was sort of nice, watching Cliff and Ann talk. She worked hard to make sure he felt comfortable around everyone. "Do you want something, Cliff?" she asked at that moment.

"You never asked me what I wanted," I pointed out, and Ann rolled her eyes and gave me a gentle push from over the counter. "Every time you come in here, you order the same thing- water. And then you down your whole eight cups a day in like twenty minutes. Don't go overboard, Claire!" she said the last sentence in mock fear, and I laughed and finished off the next cup. I didn't really drink much all day, so I usually did drown myself in water every night.

"No, thanks," Cliff shook his head. He was still trying to save money up. I looked at Ann, about to chime in for him, but she did so herself. "Sure you don't want anything? Water, juice? It's free," she added in, and I shot her a weird look. The only free thing here was water.

Her cheeks flushed and she shook her head. "I mean, the water is." Cliff didn't seem to notice- he had set out his rice ball and ate it quietly. "Water, please," he said softly, and I smiled over at him.

I didn't say anything to Ann. She backed out of the room and went straight upstairs, and I felt guilty that she felt guilty. I turned to Cliff, swiveling in my chair just as he finished eating and wrapped up the crumbs, holding the paper towel in his hands as he waited to throw it away.

"Are you really, really mad at Gray?" he asked quietly, and I nodded, then hesitated, and nodded again, and then finally decided a shrug would suffice. "Do you think you hate him?" Cliff asked. I hesitated, than shook my head. I wanted to hate him, because I knew I probably should, but I didn't. I had yelled at him a few times too. "Well, maybe you should let him talk to you," he added on, not looking at my eyes.

"Do you still talk to him?" I chirped innocently, trying to change the subject. Cliff hesitated as well, and then shook his head. "How come?" I asked, frowning. I didn't want to screw up one of his few friendships, even if I was grateful he took my side.

"I just don't like the way he acts around you," he shrugged, and then looked at his clock. "Oh, sorry, you have work on the farm, don't you?"

I looked up and moaned, nodding. "I have to bring in the cows and chickens and then cut down the weeds. I'll see you tomorrow," I smiled at him, waiting for a moment as he nodded, waving and walking away to throw his paper towel away as he headed up the stairs.

I felt slightly…snubbed.

Author's Note: Okay, these seems pointless, but this is just so everyone can learn the kind of relationship Gray and Claire are in, and how she's constantly struggling with how she feels about him. It also gives up a little view on Ann too, who will, as hinted, come into focus a bit more. :) Don't worry, Gray and Claire won't be fighting for long. I hope you guys like this, for some reason I'm really nervous about this story haha. But I like it. :) So if you guys don't, please just don't read, if you do, thank you! Thanks for reading, and thanks to everyone who's reviewed so far! Oh, and don't worry, to whoever it was who requested a happy ending for Cliff, I plan on pulling out happy endings for everyone. :) Oh, by the way, the next chapter won't be up for a little while because I'm going camping, but as soon as I get back and settled I'll upload it!


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I do not own Harvest Moon or any of the other characters in it.

"Hey, chicky chicky," I chimed to my chickens as I set down their feed. They hobbled up quickly, greedily gobbling every last grain. I wrinkled up my nose, setting their eggs in the shipping bin as I picked up my basket and ran towards the mine, happy to feel the cold air whipping at my face.

I shoved some loose grapes and herbs into the basket, hopeful that the ores I piled on top wouldn't smash them. Then again, Zack didn't seem to mind smushed grapes, for whatever reason. He usually didn't care, as long as the vegetables were okay.

My mind shot to Gray and the look on his face and the look on my face when I had ripped that turnip from the ground. The frayed roots turned into foreshadowing in my mind, of our frayed relationship, and I shook my head. _Thinking too much_, I told myself, hacking down on a few random branches with my axe before I picked up the basket and headed towards the mine again. I had a habit of thinking into things way more than other people.

I got my way down to the third level rather quickly, since that was where I knew the gold would be. It was useless to me, piling in copper ore after copper ore and gasping in delight when I found a gold ore when I could be racking up money with gold ore after gold ore and sighing when I got a silver ore.

Everything seemed to be going good as I hammered away, dropping in gold ore after gold ore into the basket just like I had predicted. I had my entire day planned out, just like I always did. When I got back I would dump my things into the shipping bin, go spend some time with Ann, meet up with Cliff as he got off of work, walk with him to the inn and hope _he_ wasn't there, and then run straight to the general store and pick something up since I am a bit lazy, as Gray suggested. I preferred 'procrastinator,' however.

Then, speak of the devil, _he_ decided to show up and ruin everything. I'm slowly starting to notice that ruining things seems to be what Gray is best at.

He looked sort of shocked when he came up the staircase and saw me hammering away, so at least he didn't plan being a jerk. Then, he pulled his cap down, shifting the bag of ores he had to the other hand. "Hey, Claire," he said quietly, though his voice echoed in the mines.

I stayed quiet again, just slamming my hammer onto a rock angrily. I gaped as the top shot off of the handle, and then I felt Gray's hands turn me away as it ricocheted off of the wall and slammed onto the floor, and his hands disappeared from my waist instantly as I stared down at my possible suicide, the hammer top laying where I had been seconds ago.

Gray stared as well, shocked again, and then we met eyes and he started grinning. "I guess you'll have to head down to the blacksmith's now, won't you?" he picked up the top and the handle, and I yanked them away, pulling too hard so I hit myself in the stomach, evoking a soft, "oomph!"

"You made me do that!" I accused, picking up the gold ore that lay somehow undestroyed and pushing it into the rucksack on my back. Gray rolled his eyes, pulling the handle and top back.

"Look, I'll _carry _it for you, and I did not! You just don't know how to mine properly," he retorted, and I yanked the broken pieces of my hammer back again.

"I do too! You just…frustrated me enough to make me mine improperly, alright?" He just rolled his eyes, not even bothering to argue with my bad comebacks as he yanked the pieces back again and headed up the stairs. I thundered after him, calling to his retreating form, "Give me my pieces back!"

"Just hear me out," he held them away from me with his outstretched arm, spinning so that I looked like I was dancing around him as we walked up to my shipping bin, where he gestured for me to deposit my belongings. I gave up, sighing as I dumped my ores into the bin, and then launched myself at him again.

He caught me easily with one arm around my waist, using it to shove me away as he held the hammer bits away. "I'm the one who's going to be fix it, so why even bother getting it away from me?" he asked, smirking a bit as I stared at him and finally shrugged, heading towards my house.

He caught me again by my wrist, not pulling me, but holding me still. "You _do _have to pay my grandfather, though. I mean, I guess I could give you a discount seeing as how _I_ did it…" I could hear the mocking in his voice, but he had a point. I had to pay Saibara, and I wasn't about to just send my money off with him, even though I trusted him to give it to its rightful owner. I didn't want him to _know_ I trusted him in that way.

"Claire, look, I…you know how hard it is for me to apologize, so you know how hard it is for me to say I'm sorry, okay? You know I didn't mean what I told you that day," and he didn't even have to clarify what day it was. It was burned into our memories as _that day_.

I shrugged, and he continued. "I think you're a great farmer, and of course you put it off. I mean, you have…Cliff…and Ann…" he said the names in a strangled voice, and I glanced over at him weirdly, one eyebrow raised.

"So…why were you so mad?" He looked ecstatic that I had said something to him, since it had just been, 'Get away from me!' 'Go to hell!' 'You made me!' and other childish shouts up until this question.

"You know how my grandfather is. I burned my hand and all he told me was I needed to pay for all the mistakes I was making, that I was lazy, I screwed up your axe so I had to take it to you and show you what I did…" he trailed off, shrugging. He didn't really have to explain- everyone in town knew how his grandfather could act.

I thought about my axe. There hadn't really been anything wrong with it, to be honest. "Fine. Fine, Gray! I'm only…forgetting about this…because I know how your grandfather is and I don't…like fighting," I sighed. Giving up didn't usually come as quickly as this, but staring at Gray's sad eyes as he kicked the dirt in the street made me feel guilty, just like I had felt watching Ann watch Cliff. I was a sucker when it came to guilt.

"Really?" he asked, staring down at me strangely. I nodded weakly, not willing to shrug since I had so much in our conversation. I was giving up bizarrely, and I knew that, after acting so headstrong for so long. But there was something in me that didn't want to be mad at him. I didn't want to keep tearing myself in half. Besides, it wasn't like I was saying we'd be best friends now. I just wouldn't hate him.

He grinned, looking for a moment like he was about to hug me before he looked down at his full hands and then looked away. "Good," he said, making it sound as if he had won an argument. I rolled my eyes, but didn't say anything. I really _didn't_ like fighting, either, and I didn't want to start another one already.

"Goddess Claire, what did you do to it?" Saibara demanded when I set the pieces of my hammer down, and I glanced at Gray, who was watching his grandfather nervously, like he was so sure I was going to sell him out. I rolled my eyes again, telling him only, "I dunno, the top just flung off when I was mining. I guess I hit the rock too hard, or something." What a pathetic excuse.

"Well, it'll be fixed in a couple of days." I handed over the money I knew it would cost, and Saibara took it eagerly. I exchanged a short look with Gray, who looked surprised- easily shocked, that one- and then walked out towards the winery.

"Hey Claire," Cliff said when I leaned against the railing like I usually did. He was picking grapes off of the bush right next to it, so he continued working, but looked at me often, trying to prove that I had his attention, I suppose. "I thought you had to go the supermarket."

I shrugged again- I was so passive lately! "Changed my mind. I don't feel like it. Do anything interesting today?" I always tried to get Cliff to talk about himself, but he often just talked about me, saying all he did all day was pick grapes.

Cliff glanced at me, a blush touching his cheeks. "Well, I'm talking to you," he said, the blush brightening as he glanced back at the bush, pulling off three grapes at one time, all of them coming off the vine easily and with no breaks. I wished I was that good at harvesting anything on my farm.

I grinned at him, burying my face in the arms on top of the railing to hide my blush. "Thanks," I said softly, and his only response was a shrug and a faint smile as he continued picking. "Have you talked to Ann today?" I asked, and he glanced up, thoughtful, and then nodded.

"She asked if I wanted something for breakfast, and said it'd be free. Made me, Gray, Kai and her dad pancakes," he told me, probably thinking it was going to be boring. My attention was all on him though, as if pancakes were the most amazing thing in the world.

"What did Gray and Kai say?" I asked, surprised with myself for being so curious. What was so exciting about their reactions to pancakes?

"They said 'thanks,'" Cliff snickered a bit, and I laughed when I realized he was actually laughing at me. Spending time with Kai was pretty good for his self confidence, huh? "Oh. I was just wondering, you know. For all I knew, Gray could jump on a table and declare his love for Ann. Pull out a blue feather. The usual," I shrugged, and Cliff laughed, pulling more grapes from the vines. One smushed in his fingers, staining them with purple goo as he dropped it onto the floor, kicking the dirt over it.

"Yeah, likely," a voice said as I felt someone lean on the railing next to me, and I turned to see Gray standing there. I shouldn't have been surprised, since he was starting to show up _everywhere_, but I was.

"You again," I muttered. I couldn't help still being a little bitter. "Yeah, I just can't stay away," he said sarcastically, rolling his eyes at me, though he had a small smile that I had to return.

Cliff watched us, his eyes wide and puzzled. Maybe, just maybe, I should have taken the time to explain that Gray and I weren't arguing anymore. "Hello, Gray," he said quietly, picking another grape that he smashed between his fingers. I wondered if that was nervous energy, or something. "They should make you pay for that," I teased, and Cliff's eyes snapped to my face, thinking I was serious, but his expression relaxed into a smile when he realized I was joking. I felt Gray's eyes on me, but I just looked away.

"I'm going to go to the library…do you want to come?" the last few words were added painstakingly slowly as Gray watched me. He was probably still trying to make up for shouting at me, so I smirked, shrugging, and then finally nodding.

Cliff watched our retreating forms, his jaw dropped, and I didn't remember until I was turning the corner to wave good bye to him.

Author's Note: Sorry this took so long to get up, but I got back only a little bit ago and I still had to shower and unpack and get back to normal again. :) Well, hopefully this chapter was worth the wait! I know some of you are probably like, Claire forgave him to fast! But you'll see the reason why as more time goes on. Oh, and to whoever thought they were over analyzing (I don't want to say about what right now, if you really want to know check the reviews but it might spoil it a tad) don't worry, you're not. ;) Thanks for reading everyone, and thanks to all of you guys who wished me a fun time camping, I really appreciate it! I hope you enjoyed, and thanks to all of the reviewers so far!


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I do not own Harvest Moon or any of the characters in it.

"So, what's up with you and Gray?" Ann elbowed me playfully a few hours later. Mary and Gray had shown me some books on farming they thought I liked- I found them boring- and I had spent quite a while listening to Mary talk about a book she was writing while Gray just sat down and read. All in all, I had decided not to make Gray feel more relieved by 'spending time' with him, and decided to just politely decline from now on.

I rolled my eyes at my friend. "How do you even know anything about him and I?" How _did_ she know everything? Ann was not a gossip, and Ann was no girly girl, so how did she always know the town news?

"It's an inn," she shrugged, laughing. "A lot of people come in here. And…Gray told Kai about it and Kai told me. Oh, and I saw you and Gray walking away from Cliff when I came out to offer you something, but then you just walked away. You should've seen Cliff's face, he looked so surprised," Ann giggled, and I stared at her closely, looking for some sign of sadness, but I saw nothing. Either Ann was just a naturally happy person, or this didn't effect her at all.

"Well, I forgave him. I destroyed my hammer and shouted at him, but then I forgave him," I shrugged, taking a surprisingly small sip of the water Ann set in front of me.

She only snickered, muttering, "I knew you couldn't stay mad at him long."

"Why not?" I demanded, and she giggled even more.

Her retort was quick before she backed away, as if I would attack her. "Because you and him have such good _chemistry_," she grinned.

I nearly spit out the next drink of water I took. "We don't have good chemistry. We have an okay friendship, but that was it really, not something I would miss if we-," "Oh, hi Gray!" Ann waved behind me, and I spun around quickly.

I swiveled back, glaring at her. "He's not even there," I hissed, and Ann smirked at me, swirling my cup around in her hands before I snatched it away, downing all the liquid in spite.

"I just wanted to prove my point," Ann told me, turning to refill it.

"Prove what?" I demanded of her retreating figure, and then jumped as I felt someone walk up behind me. "Oh, hi, Cliff!" I said as cheerily as I possibly could to him, wincing at the confused look on his face.

"What happened with Gray? I thought you two hated each other…" he said softly, cocking his head to the side as he held out his hands towards mine. I set mine, after a moment of hesitation, gingerly in his, giving him a reassuring smile.

"I thought we did, but he apologized, and after our usual sort of spat I forgave him. I don't want to hold onto grudges forever and all," I shrugged, and he nodded, staring at my hands silently.

"Claire, Cliff," Gray said, nodding to each of us as he walked in. Ann walked behind him towards Mayor Thomas to pour him a cup of juice, giving me some sort of wide eyed look that was supposed to signify something.

I grinned at Gray. "Uh, hey, I'll be right back," I walked quickly off towards Ann as she started to walk around the counter, saying, "You're not supposed to be back here, Claire." I ignored her, shoving her into the backroom with my hand on the pitcher so it wouldn't spill and said, "What are up with those eyes?"

I mimicked her and she suppressed a laugh, rolling her eyes since I _was_ mocking her. "I'm just saying…chemistry, Claire. You have chemistry with Gray. I'm not saying you don't have it with Cliff," she looked scared suddenly, and I frowned a bit. "But you should give Gray a chance. Just…don't let Cliff know," and the way her face looked I could tell how hard it was for her to say that, and so I nodded, mumbling half-hearted okay's under my breath.

Ann was about to walk to the back of the room and leave me to find my way out when I said, "Ann?" and she spun around quickly, obediently. "Do you…and Cliff…do you like him?" I cocked my head to the side as a blush filled her cheeks.

Energetically, she playfully shoved me out. "Goddess, Claire, I'm just trying to help you out, now get out!" she grinned at me and slammed the door, leaving me to turn and face Gray and Cliff, who looked like they were in the middle of an awkward conversation.

Cliff smiled at me when I walked up, pulling the stool next to him for me, since Gray had moved forward and stolen mine. I clambered up in it awkwardly, putting on a big smile for both of them. "So…what are you guys talking about?"

"You," Gray shrugged simply, turning to eat some food Ann's dad must have served him. For the second time I felt like if I had been drinking I would have spewed the liquid out everywhere.

"About how you broke your hammer," Cliff explained, and I nodded, making a soft, "Ohh…" sound.

I glanced at Gray, trying to see if I found that so-called 'chemistry.' The second I looked up, I looked right back down, though- Gray was staring right back at me. Chemistry? More like…awkwardness. I smiled over at Cliff, who just gave another one of his faint grins before he looked away and I frowned.

"So, how's work?" Gray asked Cliff, offering me a grape. I took it, popping it in my mouth and biting hard. I hoped nobody would say anything weird so I would spit _that_ out, but all Cliff said was, "Fine."

Gray and I exchanged a look. It was common knowledge that Cliff didn't talk much, but he used to talk around Gray just as much as he talked around me. "How are things at the farm, Claire?"

"Good. I've got crops and cows and sheep and chickens and all…so…yeah," I felt stupid for going through the list, but Gray just grinned.

"I'll have to stop by and see it." He nodded, and I shrugged, saying only, "If you want too." Cliff himself hardly ever even came to see my farm, come to mention it.

"Well, I think I'll just be going to the farm now. I still have to pull all the weeds, and I'm working on getting rid of all the stones on my farm. See you tomorrow, Cliff," I smiled at him, and then turned to give Gray a faint smile. "See you around."

Before I walked away, Cliff pressed a kiss on my lips, and I stared at him weirdly. "Er, bye," I said, looking over to see Gray staring with a bit of a smirk and some other thing I couldn't make out, and Ann caught me on my way out.

"Nice way to say good bye to your boyfriend- say, 'er, bye,' and stare at his best friend," she said very smugly, folding her arms. I glared at her, rolling my eyes and shoving my way out.

The next morning I opened the door humming as usual- I sang along to songs made up in my head, walking to the crops and dumping a bit of water on each of them, and then I heard laughter behind me.

I spun to see Gray- déjà vu- grinning at my singing/humming combination. "So, you had to break rocks with your hammer?" he held up my newly repaired…gold hammer? It had only been copper before. "Someone felt awkward yesterday, I'm guessing."

"Guilty," I admitted, since I had already dug too deep of a hole to get out at that point. I took my golden hammer, running my fingers along it. "I didn't pay for the upgrade. How much?"

"Free of charge, another apology for being such a jack ass," he smiled at me, pulling his hat down slightly lower over his face to block out the sun.

I smirked. "Well, if it's what your good at," I walked to the field, bringing it down on the rock, grinning as it shattered and I was free to collect the pieces. "Wow, it works amazing. Thanks, Gray!"

He just smiled as I set it down. "I've got to feed the animals…if you're going to hang out here, you can head inside or whatever," I didn't look over my shoulder, just headed into my barn.

When I came back out I led the animals out, glancing around for Gray, but I didn't see him anywhere. I opened the door for the horse, and headed to the chicken coop- this time when I came out he had destroyed almost half of the rocks on my field, all of the stone collected in a neat pile as he crushed another giant one that would've taken me a million hits to get.

"Oh my goddess, you didn't have to do all this, Gray! Thank you!" I exclaimed cheerfully, rushing towards him as he demolished the next.

"It's easier for me- I spend all day blacksmithing, so," he shrugged. I grinned, watching as he hit another.

"Well, I think its pure talent. You should enter a contest. I can see it now- Gray Smith, Number One Rock Crusher!" I lamely drew my hands out in the sky, pretending to see a banner displayed in front of me. I expected Gray to be giving me a weird look when I glanced back at him, but he was just smiling, making eye contact instantly.

"How are the animals?"

"Greedy, vicious, and yet adorable. Same as always," I smiled, kicking at the dirt slightly as I gathered as much stone as I could in my hand and dumped it into my shed. He followed me with the rest held somehow in his slender arms, setting them next to the pile I had started.

"Do you visit Cliff at the winery every day?" he asked, following me as I awkwardly harvested crops. I could tell he wanted to distract me from memories of the last time he had watched me pull crops- I almost destroyed my vegetables just thinking about it.

"Usually."

"He doesn't seem like your type," Gray said quietly, and I spun immediately, glaring at him. "No, I don't mean to be rude…it's just…he's so quiet, and you're so outspoken. You two hardly even talked to each other, last night."

I couldn't stay angry at him for that. He was telling the truth- Cliff and I hardly ever talked. "But he's nice…and he's the only guy in town who isn't taken and all," I shrugged.

Gray rolled his eyes. "What am I?" he laughed, pushing me jokingly. I wondered how Gray was so different around me then other people. Around others he was shy, quiet, reserved. Around me he made a beyond obvious effort to show that he was being outgoing.

"You're as good as sold to Mary," I pointed out, and he rolled his eyes.

"Next time somebody says that, just drive a pair of scissors through me. I don't even talk to her when I go down to the library."

I looked at him in shock. "I thought she was your friend…now you're suicidal at just the mention of her?"

Gray rolled his eyes again. "I mean…I don't want people to keep throwing away all my opportunities saying, 'Mary,' as if she has any impact on my life. She _doesn't_," he clarified, and I nodded, shrugging.

"Well, okay, he's one of the two only guys not sold off. Does that make you happy?" I asked smugly.

"No," Gray muttered.

I snapped my gaze to him. "What did you say?" I questioned, trying to keep my voice from sounding nervous, if I had heard him correctly, acting as if I genuinely hadn't heard him.

"Better. I said, 'better.'" He nodded, giving me a small smile before he picked up my hammer and continued to pound the rocks.

Author's Note: No matter how much I say sorry, it's not going to fix that I've put this off for a half a year. Ugh, I'm a horrible person. xp I'm going to try to finish up all of my stories, if I can. I've just been going through a lot, but writing is what helps me, so here I am, writing. Thank you so much for reading and reviewing and everything, sorry I left you guys hanging forever, but I'll try to be better! :)


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I do not own Harvest Moon or any of the characters on it.

"Hello Claire!" Carter said, obviously shocked, when I stepped into church the next day. "I don't know if you realized this, but we're not having a funeral or a wedding and Cliff doesn't come here anymore, so to what do I owe this pleasure?"

"Ha, ha," I grinned. Carter often teased me about how I stopped coming to church once Cliff and I got into our unofficial relationship. Of course, I _did _stop by weekly with a present for him, I just didn't stop as often as I did when I was just getting to know Cliff. "I came here to see _you _Carter, if you'll believe me."

He faked a heart attack. For being a pastor, Carter had a great sense of humor. Maybe there were more like him, but the one at my church back in the city had poured gravity into every single one of us so that at the little meetings afterwards it took a half hour to remember how to crack a smile.

"Oh, I'm just pulling your leg, Claire," Carter laughed when he saw my joke annoyance. "What did you want to do? Confess? Upcoming events? Prayer?"

I hesitated. I had been thinking a lot about what I could do with my apparent situation, and the only person I could think to talk to was Carter. "Actually, I wanted to ask advice for…someone I know."

I was sure he could see right through me, but he put on a smile and replied, "So you need advice for this friend?"

"Yes!" It was obvious _now_, at least. "I'll call her…Emmeline."

"Emmeline?" Carter asked me, one eyebrow raised.

"It's actually a…very popular name back in the city. I just got a letter from her and she needs some advice and…I don't want to give her any bad advice. It could affect a lot."

He nodded slowly, dusting off his clothes. "I see. Well, tell me about Emmeline's situation. I can't promise I'll have good advice, but I'll see what I can do to help you and this friend."

"Well…she's been _sort of _going out with a guy for a while now. He's very nice and kind, but he's very shy. She's not that shy. Sometimes it seems like they don't even like each other. There's this girl at the in- motel, which he…visits a lot and sometimes it seems like they like each other. And sometimes maybe it seems like Emmeline and him just aren't compatible."

I paused to make sure Carter was following. He was giving me a strange look, but nodded to show that he understood.

"And besides, there's this other boy, who Emmeline has been friends with for let's say…two years or something like that, and sometimes it seems like maybe they get along better than her and C-the boy she's sort of going out with. What should she do?"

Carter continued to look at me, and then answered, "And this has absolutely nothing to do with you?"

"Of course not. Any similarities are purely coincidental."

"Of course," Carter chuckled for a moment, and we exchanged a long, uncomfortable look before he kept going. "Well, it sounds like maybe Emmeline likes G…this friend more than she thinks. And if she's friends with the girl who works at the motel, maybe she should give her a chance with the other boy and take her chance with this friend."

"But what if things don't work out, and she finds out that she was better off with the original guy but he wants nothing to do with her anymore? What if she's the reason he stayed in the town, anyways?"

Carter smiled at me. "I can see Emmeline's dilemma. Well, it appears that she'll have to continue things as they are- though I can understand they must be a bit awkward- and find out what's worth more. The relationship she's in now, or the one she could be having?"

"But…what if she fights all of the time with the second one, and never fights with the first? Wouldn't the first be better?"

Again, he chuckled, and then rested one hand on my shoulder, a soft smile still there. "Well, Claire, it is often much more rewarding to be in a relationship where you fight, but you make up and have a great time along the way, then to hang around in one because you're not sure if there's anything better."

I shook as I suddenly shivered, and blushed. "Yeah…I guess you're right. I'll tell that to Emmeline. Thanks a lot, Carter."

He grinned and shook his head. "Anytime, Claire. Anytime."

Outside, Stu and May were running around, laughing and kicking up dust. I laughed as May came running to me and leapt up into my arms, knowing I would catch her. Kids were often very confident in this. Of course, I wrapped my arms around her and heaved her up to safety.

Stu nearly fell to my feet, giggling and wheezing. "Not fair, May! We all know Claire will save you!"

"That's why I like her," May stuck out her tongue at the little boy. "She's smart. She knows _exactly _who to save- me! Right Claire?"

I hesitated. They thought I was so omniscient, and here I was, heading out of the church where I had just asked for advice from the pastor under an obviously fake name. "That's right," I lied. "I know everything, don't I? Like I know that I got to get going, guys."

May hopped off instantly, saying a cheerful good bye and tagging Stu before she took off running. Stu sighed in front of me, but smile. "Bye Claire!" he told me before he sprinted after her, hands outstretched but never quite reaching the girl's long braids.

"Aren't kids cute?" Mary asked me, having watched this scene from the library I was about to head past. "They always remind me about love. I'm sure Stu and May are going to be a couple when they grow up."

"That's what everyone in the town says," I murmured quietly. "But what if they don't want to? What if they want a relationship that they actually have to work at, one that doesn't just fall together? What if…what if someone else moves here and May likes him a lot or Stu likes her a lot and then things aren't so simple anymore?"

"That's never happened here before," Mary shrugged and pushed up her glasses. "Everyone's just sort of fallen together. That's what I like about Mineral Town."

She was the smartest girl I had ever met, but I couldn't agree with her. "Wouldn't it be more exciting though, if sometimes you fought or you didn't get along?"

"If you're happy, why mess it up?" Mary asked me softly.

"What if…" I started, and then my voice faded. I thought about Gray for a moment, and forced myself to finish with, "What if they're _not _happy, though?"

Mary looked at me for a long time. "What are you trying to say, Claire?" she asked, seeming puzzled. It appeared that what I felt wasn't something most people in Mineral Town encountered.

"I don't know. I'm just over thinking stuff, I guess. I better go and visit Cliff. He'll…make me feel better." Or worse. Who knows?

She told me good-bye politely, though she retained her confused look, and I walked over to the winery, surprised as I turned the corner to see Gray leaning against the fence, talking to Cliff.

I stealthily climbed the fence and went around the winery building, going through the grape vines as quickly and quietly as I could until I felt I was close enough to hear and hidden enough to be considered a stalker. Guilt probed at me, but I pushed it away. I wanted to know what they were talking about more than anything.

"So, you really like her?" Gray's voice asked.

There was a long pause, in which I could only guess was Cliff's hesitation. "Yeah. I mean, she's great…"

"Great…" Gray either repeated or responded. I couldn't tell without seeing his face. After he had finished helping me in silence yesterday, he had taken his leave and gone back to the blacksmith, and we hadn't talked since. I couldn't shake off the feeling that 'better' wasn't really what he was saying. I refused to doubt my hearing.

Cliff remained silent.

"Why don't you ever want to talk anymore?" Gray asked, sounding annoyed. I couldn't help but grin at that. Gray couldn't help but be rudely blunt sometimes. "You used to talk to me as much as you talk to Claire. And now you never say a word."

There was another long pause. "I know, Gray. You don't have to put on an act…"

My eyes widened, and I tried to pull apart some of the vines to see Gray's reaction as well, but I had no luck. I just saw more and more vines beyond. Maybe I wasn't close enough.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Gray finally replied.

Cliff muttered, "Right. I have to get back to work so…"

There was a moment of silence, and then I heard Gray mumble something under his breath and I heard his footsteps pad away.

Silently, I walked back to my starting place and climbed the fence over again. I could see Gray walking over to the blacksmiths. I spent a moment trying to decide whether I should visit Cliff, who obviously wasn't in a good mood, or go talk to Gray, who at least would pretend to cheer up.

I chose to go see Ann, instead.

She was starting sullenly out the kitchen window when I walked in, looking over towards the winery. I stood at the door, holding it so that it would close without making a noise. I couldn't remember ever seeing Ann sad. In fact, I couldn't remember ever seeing her without at least a hint of a smile.

Apparently, things were more complicated than I had thought upon approaching Carter. I backed out of the door and this time let it close hard behind me. Maybe it would snap Ann back into her cheerful mood.

Perhaps it would be best if I just headed home.

Author's Note: I don't really have much to say about this. Things are changing. =p I don't know how many more chapters until the end, but I'm thinking this is about the halfway mark? No idea, don't hold me to that. I'll try to get the next chapter up soon.


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: I do not own Harvest Moon or any of the characters.

After I had finished taking care of things, I headed straight to the store to pick up some chocolate for Ann. I wanted to cheer her up from what I saw yesterday. It was killing me to think of how sad she had looked.

"Hey, Claire!" Karen called surprisingly cheerfully as soon as I walked in. We always got along well, but lately she had seemed a little down, especially after talking to Rick.

"Hey Karen. How are you?" I replied with a smile. She tossed her hair, nearly hitting me in the face as she giggled.

"I'm good, just fine. What about you and Cliff?"

Karen loved everything to do with romance. I thought my boring romance wouldn't interest anyone- it didn't even interest me half the time- but Karen found it enthralling. "We're okay, I guess," I shrugged. What _could _I tell her? "Oh, I have doubts." No. I didn't want to ruin her fairy tale thoughts about love.

"I have something to show you!" she told me, still giggling. How unlike her to giggle away with me of all people like this.

"Okay, what is it?" I asked. I couldn't help but giggle a little myself. It was contagious.

She tugged on my arm, pulling me to the side of the store, where right between a new rucksack and a basket saw a blue feather.

"Oh."

"You have to get it!" Karen told me, pulling harder. "This would be perfect."

"I don't know, I'm not ready…maybe you could get it, Karen."

She didn't blush or anything, just shrugged. "Can't. I spent all my money last night drinking."

"Oh," I said again. The blue feather seemed to dance and spin on spot. I didn't even want to look at it. It was just sitting there, spinning, taunting me. The horrible little thing. _I don't know what I want! _I wanted to scream at it. _Stop making me choose!_

"Buy it!" Karen told me. "I mean, we don't get too many of these. Come on, Claire, what's wrong? Don't you want it?"

I hesitated again. I didn't want her of all people to know what I had hinted at with Carter, so I reluctantly picked it up, wishing it would just fly out the window, or anything. I didn't want to touch it.

Karen looked exuberant. I had almost forgotten just how much she loved the idea of true love and marriage. It was hard to see past the hard drinking and tomboy exterior sometimes. She was perhaps the girliest girl I knew, on the inside.

"I'm going to buy some chocolate and get it wrapped, too."

"Oh, you're going to give him a present?"

"No," I laughed instantly at the thought, and when she gave me a strange look, I hushed myself. "I'm going to give the chocolate to Ann, and I'm going to save the blue feather until…the time is right, I guess."

Karen looked a little confused, but shrugged. "Okay, sounds good. Just take the stuff over to my father. I'll wrap the chocolate for you."

Before I went back outside, I stashed the blue feather at the very bottom of my rucksack. There was no need for anybody else to see the thing. I headed home, thinking that I would stash it at the very bottom of my drawer, beneath all of my clothes so nobody ever saw it. Maybe I would never have to take it out again. Maybe things would continue like this forever.

I gave a heavy sigh.

"What's wrong with you?" Gray asked from the blacksmith door, one eyebrow raised.

"Nothing. I just…oh…I was going to go to the inn…" I drifted off, holding Ann's package in my hands. "I just…lost my train of thought."

Gray shrugged. "I'll go with you. I'm headed over there anyways."

"Oh…great," I muttered, and when he shot me a look I blushed. "Sorry. I meant good as in…good, not as in…not good. I mean…thanks, okay."

We walked in silence, not too sure what to say after that. "What did you get her?" he finally asked.

I stared at the box. What had I gotten her? Finally it came to my head and I said, "Oh, chocolate! I wrapped it up. So it would look nice. …Yeah…"

He stopped and looked over at me. "Are you sure you're okay? You're acting sort of weird?"

I could _feel _the thing in my rucksack. Why did it have to be so _heavy_? I couldn't stand it. It was just weighing down on me. I thought I was going to fall over. I was going to fall backwards. I was going to-

"What are you doing?" Gray asked, grabbing my wrists and pulling me so that I stood up straight. "You're acting really weird."

"Oh, I just had a weird run in with Karen at the supermarket," I shrugged. "And a stranger conversation with Carter. And Mary. Things have just been weird today."

Gray looked at me for a moment and then smiled. "Then let's go do something else. Let's go to the top of the mountain, by the Harvest Goddess pond. We can relax there. Well, you can at least, you look terrible."

"Thanks," I rolled my eyes. "What do I do about this, though?" I held up the package.

He rolled his eyes and dropped the package off in front of the door. "It says to Ann, from Claire, she'll get the message. Let's go," he set his hand on the small of my back, pushing me forward.

"Maybe I should tell Cliff," I hesitated, my head tilted to the side. "I mean, we usually meet every day after he finishes with work. He might wonder where I am."

Gray's face fell just a bit as he pulled his hat down lower than ever. "Do whatever you want to, I guess."

Whatever I wanted to. What _did _I want? It was hard to think through. I looked over my shoulder at the package waiting outside of the inn and thought about Ann. About how she had encouraged me to test the so-called chemistry I had with Gray. I thought about how sad she looked.

"Let's go, then," I finally answered.

He looked down at me with surprise as we started walking again. "Are you sure you're okay?" he repeated with a grin.

I rolled my eyes. "Thanks, Gray, but I'm not mental yet. Just having an off day, I guess. Hurry up! I want to get far away from…everyone else."

"And of all the people you _want _to be with, you picked me?" he asked, only half teasing.

Avoiding eye contact, I looked ahead. "Don't question it, let's just go."

When we got there, I dropped my rucksack to the ground and collapsed onto the grass, resting my head in my hands as I stared hard into the water, willing the Harvest Goddess herself to pop out and give me a few answers that even the pastor couldn't.

Gray carefully laid himself down next to me. "So, what's really bothering you?"

We both stared at the water now. I wasn't sure whether or not I really wanted to tell him. If I could tell. I was only just coming to terms with why Gray himself was on my mind so much lately, I wasn't ready to talk about it.

"Come on, Claire. You used to talk to me a lot. We were close. What's wrong?"

He had a point there. I used to tell him more than I told Ann. We were best friends. Then we had faded to friends as he got more and more distant. And then he had almost thrown it all away.

I rolled over to look at him. He was already looking at me, looking surprisingly concerned. "Okay, well. It's mostly about Cliff."

"What happened? Did he do something…?"

"He doesn't do anything. He doesn't even know who I am. And I don't even know who he is. And we just sort of…are together, not by choice or anything."

Gray continued to stare, looking confused. "So…you don't really like him?"

"I don't know!" I replied miserably. "I don't know anything anymore. I thought everything was simple but no. It's a million times more complicated than I ever thought."

"Sounds tough," Gray murmured quietly. Even he didn't know what to say.

I sighed and sat up, flopping over towards my rucksack, knocking it to the side. "You have no idea," I half-heartedly teased him.

Gray stared at the floor next to me, his eyes wide.

"What?" I asked him, sitting up. "What are you looking at? I know it's not very clean, but I'm kind of busy a lot, you know."

"I thought you didn't like Cliff as much as you thought?" he asked me, looking very smug all of a sudden.

I raised one eyebrow. "Have you been listening to me? I don't know anything anymore. Gosh, Gray."

He stood up and then stooped over, retrieving the blue feather from my rucksack and holding it up. "Then what's this?" he inquired, holding it out towards me, looking very angry all of a sudden.

I snatched it and shoved it back into my rucksack. "How did that fall out, I put it all the way at the bottom?" I demanded.

When I stood up, he was already walking away. "Whatever. I've got to go."

"But, wait, Gray, let me explain why I have the thing-"

"It doesn't matter. Hope you're very happy with whatever," he rolled his eyes and then stole off, disappearing around the hedges.

With a sigh, I kicked my rucksack, only to have the blue feather come floating out to the top again, lying on the glass, taunting me.

"Stupid thing!" I cried out, falling back onto the grass and burying my face in my arms.

Author's Note: (: Once again, not much to say. Maybe it is getting closer to the end. I don't know. Haha thanks for reading!


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: I do not own Harvest Moon or any of the characters.

The blue feather seemed to always float to the top of my underwear drawer, no matter how many undergarments I piled on top of it. I was beginning to think things would have been a lot better if I had just disappointed Karen. Things would be easier if I wasn't such a people pleaser.

A people pleaser. I froze where I standing over the underwear draw, trying to suffocate the blue feather so it couldn't keep on soaring back up. It was something I had never considered before.

But I wouldn't stay with Cliff just to make him happy. That was a terrible thought. That was an unnecessary thought.

That was a thought that had more truth to it than I was willing to admit.

"You!" I shouted at the blue feather. "You screwed up everything! You're supposed to make me happy, but you just ruined things with Gray! What am I supposed to tell him now, huh?"

I pulled my empty suitcase out from under my bed and zipped the blue feather inside. At least then it didn't matter if it floated to the top, I had emptied my suitcase out and wouldn't need to go into it unless I planned on moving- then again, at the rate my life was heading down that could be pretty soon.

I wanted to explain things to Gray, but I couldn't see how that would be fair to Cliff. Run off to tell his old friend that I wasn't going to propose to Cliff, not to worry, because I liked him more than I had expected? No, that wasn't fair at all.

So instead, I headed to meet up with Ann.

Where, coincidentally, they both were.

Before I could think of it, the door closed loudly behind me and I swore under my breath. They were mumbling something to each other and then both Cliff and Gray turned to look at me. My eyes flew to the floor.

"Claire!" Kai called out. "I'm going to leave _tomorrow_, and you weren't going to come say good-bye to me?"

I looked up excitedly. "That's why I'm here!" I hurried to where he was standing- next to the boys- and we hugged quickly.

"I'm going to miss you tons, kid. Even with all your little problems."

"What are you trying to say?" I retorted, and he laughed.

"Ann knew you wouldn't mind if she told me. So she filled me in on all the…farm stuff," he said when he realized Gray and Cliff were just staring at him. "If you ask me, I think the stronger, though a little meaner cow would be much better than the chick-"

"Kai!" I snapped. "Whichever one I choose will not be based on strength, or any of that. It will matter about how much I like them. And I don't know if I like chickens or cows and it's a big mess!" I waved my hands in the air, only to have him catch them and laugh.

"You _do _have a lot on your mind. Lucky I found you, right?" More like lucky he saved me.

I rolled my eyes, but smiled and nodded. "Yeah, right."

"Well, come over here and I'll tell you my advice. Maybe you should say hi to your boyfriend first, though," he grinned, heading over to a table against the wall.

Feeling my cheeks flush, I turned to Cliff. "Hi," I told him softly, waving. "Sorry I didn't meet up with you yesterday."

"It's okay, Gray told me you went to the pond," Cliff smiled at me, looking so innocent. Had he picked up on everything Kai had said, or was he totally oblivious? I was never too sure about him.

"Yeah, she has tons of stuff to think about apparently," Gray muttered bitterly to nobody in particular.

I shot him a look, but what could I say? "Yes, I do. I had a weird run in with Karen yesterday. She wanted me…" I tried to think of a way to explain it so maybe Gray wouldn't be mad at me. "She wanted me to buy something that I didn't really want to buy. But I did anyways."

"What was it?" Cliff asked. I should have anticipated that.

"You know Karen, always trying to force more and more seeds on her. Nobody else buys them," Gray answered, looking at me blankly. I was dying to know what he really had to say, but obviously I wasn't going to find out.

"Oh…well that's not too much to think about." Cliff answered. If he had looked confused before, he looked totally lost now.

"I'm just having a tough time!" I cried out. "I don't know how to say no to her or to anyone else!"

Kai smirked. "You don't have to talk to me if you don't want too."

A blush grew on my cheeks as I left Cliff and Gray and sat with him. "Sorry, you're the one person I actually do want to talk to right now, especially since you're going to leave soon."

"Yeah, leaving is the worst," Kai groaned. Finally, someone who didn't have feelings for someone, someone who wasn't wrapped up in what was apparently- at least according to Mary- very strange in Mineral Town. "It's especially going to be hard to leave this year," he gave a heavy sigh.

I froze. Maybe he _was _wrapped up in this all. "Is there someone holding you back this time?" I teased.

I was surprised to see an actual blush go onto his cheeks. "Actually, yes."

My hands flew to my mouth in surprise. "Well, who is it? Ann?" I had always thought he liked her. "Or is it…Mary?" Kai went to the library every once in a while, didn't he?

"No, neither of them. Ann's great, of course, but she's like my sister. And Mary….I'm not sure if I've ever even talked to her. It's Popouri, actually."

I tried to picture the two of them together, and it came to me easily. They did fit together nicely. "In fact," he continued, "I really need to go see her. I promised I would spend some time with her." At the thought of Popouri, my troubles had apparently flown right out of his head. He stood up and held his arms out to me. "I'm gonna miss you a lot, Claire, but I've got to run. Thanks for the talk."

As if he was the one who needed advice. "No problem, Kai. See you next summer."

Could I blame him? He was about to leave Popouri and not come back until next summer. If I were him, I would spend my last day with her too. I looked over at Cliff and Gray, the first of who looked very uncomfortable, and the latter who was staring, looking perhaps a little apologetic, into the space before him.

"Claire!" he called when I was about to go out the door, and I hesitated as he caught up to me.

We looked at each other, and then he finally said, "Um…do you still want to explain it to me, or do you hate me again?"

I rolled my eyes, but I knew that was as close as I was going to get to an apology for a while. "If you have time," I shrugged. It was well known that I tended to drag out stories to be as long as possible without even trying to.

We walked out and towards my farm as I retold the story of what I had gone through the day before, trying to shake off Karen and watching Stu and Elli and talking with Mary. It was surprisingly easy to talk to Gray- when he was quiet, at least.

Finally we stood inside my house, where I pulled out the suitcase and opened it to show him. The feather danced around, and I continually slammed the suitcase over it. "It never quits! It's taunting me, Gray! It's messing with me! I just don't know what it wants."

"It wants to be given to someone," Gray chuckled. "It's rumored to have a power, but I'm not sure it's dancing. Just looks like it's floating around from the air, to me."

"That's because it's not harassing you," I muttered, picking it up and holding it out to him. "Try holding the thing and I bet it'll do it to you, too!"

"I'm not supposed to touch it," he shook his head, moving his hands away.

I gave him a puzzled look and pushed it more towards him. "Take it, Gray, what's wrong with you? See, you don't want it to bug you either!"

"No, it's just…it's supposedly bad luck if you give it to someone you don't want to marry," he told me quietly, pulling his hat down once again and burying his hands in his pockets.

I stared at it for a long time. "Then I definitely don't want to give it to Cliff," I said decidedly.

Gray looked up, and his hat bounced up as well. "What?"

"I didn't even know what to say to him at the inn today. If I married him…what would we ever talk about?" I put the feather away in my suitcase. "I just…guess it's time to admit it. I can't force feelings for him. I guess I like him but…nowhere near as much as…"

"As much as what?" Gray asked when I drifted off, his eyebrows still raised as if I a permanent state of shock.

"As much as I thought," I finished quickly, putting the feather back into the suitcase, zipping it away and hiding it beneath my bed. "Now I've just got to…tell him that."

We looked at each other again, unsure what to say. Finally he told me, "He'll understand."

Neither of us looked so sure about it.

Author's Note: I didn't really like this chapter. Sorry if you guys didn't either…thanks for reading, though! I don't have much to say as usual, sorry about that too. Come again! =p


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: I do not own Harvest Moon or any of the characters.

"Hey Claire!" Cliff told me cheerfully when I walked up to the winery. I avoided leaning against the fence so he didn't get a chance to give me one of his rare kisses. There was no need to add to the awkwardness of what I had to tell him.

"…Hey Cliff," I replied, folding my arms. "How much longer until you get off work?" There was no way I could tell him while he was working. I didn't want to mess up his job for him. I cared about him, even if it was just as a friend.

He gave me a lopsided smile. "You still don't know?" He had a point. I almost always got there twenty minutes before. His smile made me smile. Little things like that were why I had stayed with him so long, questioning whether or not I liked him.

It was a little easier now. I thought about Gray, and I thought about how uncomfortable we had felt as we stood in my bedroom the day before. I thought about his angry leave of the Goddess Pond. I thought about many things, but what I always came back to was Gray, and how he would _really _be disappointed if I didn't break things off now. He would be madder than ever, and I would deserve it.

"Twenty minutes…yeah…" I chuckled slightly. "We have to…we kind of have to talk once you get off. So can you meet me by the church?"

Cliff looked stunned. I wonder if he had ever heard the words, "We have to talk," before. The words that supposedly terrified any boy who caught wind of them. His fingers stationed themselves in midair, above a grape.

"Okay?" I asked him, folding my arms tighter than ever. I tried to hold onto myself, to feel just a little better. He looked so confused. He looked almost sad.

"Okay, sure," he finally answered, turning his back on me as he continued to work. I didn't press him for more. If that was what his answer was, if that was all he could say, that was okay. I left him standing there and headed to the church.

I sat in the front pew at first, staring straight ahead. I tried to think of a prayer, of something that would make me more of what to say, but nothing came to mind. I only sat there, staring blankly ahead, until someone sat next to me.

"Something wrong, Claire?" Carter asked. I tried to calm myself down. I had been positive that Cliff was the one sitting next to me, and I was sure that I wasn't ready.

"No," I murmured, avoiding looking over at him. Instead I stared at my feet and fidgeted, clasping and unclasping my hands over and over again.

In my peripheral vision I could see Carter nodding. "Care to elaborate?" he asked innocently enough. Carter was always easy to talk to. Maybe he was especially nice because he was lonely. Only the kids kept him company all the time. And now, me, with my annoying questions.

"Emmeline's going to officially break off her unofficial relationship," I sighed, finally looking over at him. He looked torn between smiling or remaining serious, but his lips did turn up just a little.

"Ah, I see. When are you going to do it, then?" I didn't bother answering him by denying that I was Emmeline. He already knew, obviously. There was no need to turn away help that was being offered.

"As soon as he gets here. Should be in about…five minutes now. Only I have no idea what I'm going to say."

Carter gave me a sympathetic look. "It's best to just be honest. Remind him that you appreciated the time spent together, but that you have no feelings for him. Perhaps you should leave out any talk of…you know who, for today. But perhaps pointing out this 'motel' keeper would be beneficial to him."

I looked over at him and nodded. "I guess you're right, Carter. Thank you. I just don't know what I'm going to do afterwards."

"Well," Carter began, and then his expression changed. "Ah, Cliff, good to see you!"

I spun around to see him walking up the aisle. He looked so much braver than the first time I met him. I remembered how shy and timid he had been. Maybe I had helped him come out of his shell. Maybe I wasn't a completely horrible person for him.

"Hello Carter," Cliff replied politely, taking the seat Carter had vacated for him.

"Well, I've got some business to take care of," Carter lied, checking the clock hanging on the wall. "Claire, I suppose my answer to you would never be nearly as good as the answer you already have."

So what he was trying to say, I decided as I watched him walk away, was that I needed to follow my heart. I just wished I could understand what my heart wanted.

I turned towards Cliff and put my feet up next to me, pulling my knees to my chest to separate the two of us. "What's wrong?" he asked softly, hair falling in front of his eyes. He looked so confused.

I couldn't blame him, but I didn't understand what I was supposed to tell him anyways. We had never officially gotten together. We had never talked about it before, only hinted at it. Now I had to tell him that there were to be no more hints. That we just wouldn't ever get anywhere.

"You know how we're not going out but sometimes we act like we do?" I started, and then put my head in my knees when I realized how stupid and mean that sounded. "I'm sorry, I just meant…we've never been officially going out or anything."

Cliff's color slowly faded as he nodded. Obviously he had nothing to say.

"Well…this would be a little easier if we were going out…or maybe it would be harder, I don't know. I just…I don't have any real feelings for you Cliff. You're a good friend and a nice person but-"

"Gray," Cliff replied simply, and now it was my turn for my color to drain.

"What…what are you talking about, Cliff?" I stuttered, my voice fading already.

He almost smiled. "I know that you like him. I just…thought you didn't like him…this much."

"This isn't about Gray," I shook my head, trying to think of what Carter had said. "This is about how no matter how hard I try, I can't force feelings for you. We don't fit. And I have a very good friend who likes you a lot, and I can't keep hurting her. Especially when you'd be happier with her, anyways."

Cliff stared blankly at me, not denying anything I said. I felt my eyes swell up. I was going to _cry_. I was the one breaking things off with him, and I was about to cry.

"That's it, I'm sorry for…wasting your time, I've really got to…I've got to run," I shook my head and hurried out, running once I reached the door to the beach.

When I got there, I froze up. I had come looking for a safe place to cry, not a crowd of people around a boat. "Claire!" Kai called, and he and half the town- including Gray- all turned to look at me. "You came to see me off!"

I wiped my eyes quickly and avoided looking at anyone else. Kai deserved to at least be said good bye to before I ran home. "That's right," I smiled, and he took my hand as we looked at each other. "I'm gonna miss you, Kai."

"I'm gonna miss you too. You're like my little sis, Claire," he grinned, pulling me into a hug. "I'll write you."

Hesitantly, I smiled into his shirt. "Thanks, Kai." When I stepped back, Popouri took my spot. They looked so happy together, standing there. This was the hardest day of the year for them, and yet they were smiling, staying strong for the other. They were in love.

"Hey Claire," a voice said beside me, and I turned to look at Gray with a small, forced smile.

"Hi," I mumbled.

"Are you okay?" he asked, his head tilted to one side. I couldn't remember the last time his hat had lifted up and revealed so much of his face. I couldn't remember seeing him look so sympathetic, actually.

There was no reason for me to lie, so I just shrugged. "I just talked to Cliff."

Gray and I looked at each other and then he held out his arms to me, and I laid my head against his chest, letting my tears come down. "I didn't want to hurt him. What if he doesn't even want to be friends anymore?"

I could feel his hands on my back, moving in circles. For his tough exterior, Gray was being surprisingly nice. "He will. He'll appreciate that you were honest, Claire. You did the right thing."

"Then why do I feel so crappy?" I sighed, lifting my head up to look at him.

"Well, the right thing doesn't always make you happy," he pointed out with a grin. "But Cliff will thank you."

I nodded and that was it, because I had a hard time picturing Cliff thanking me anytime soon for failing to break it 'nicely.' "I think I better go talk to Ann. She might want to hear about this, after all."

Gray's arms fell to the side and he nodded. "I've got to say good bye to Kai…if he steps away from Popouri for a minute."

I looked over at the two and shook my head. "They're happy. It's too bad they can't stay together."

Gray smiled for a moment. "At least Kai got the girl for a little while. One summer is better than nothing."

We were quiet again. "Well, you'll get the girl. Whatever girl you want, I bet." It was hard to say it, and my chest hurt, but it came out. His lips turned up faintly, and all he told me was, "Maybe," before heading over to Kai.

"Claire?" Ann murmured as I walked up behind her. "Claire, what's wrong? You okay? Where's Cliff?"

"I've got a lot to tell you, Ann."

Author's Note: Thanks for reading and thanks for the reviews, I really appreciate it all. I tried to upload this a few times last week but every time I tried it wouldn't let me, so sorry this is so late...I should have tried again yesterday and the day before and all instead of just giving up last week. Sorry! Hope you like it. :)


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: I do not own Harvest Moon or any of the characters.

It had been two weeks. Two long, uncomfortable weeks. Two weeks of getting up, tending to the animals, taking care of the crops, mining, coming home, depositing the items, and venturing out only to talk to Ann if necessary. I tried to stay out of town as much as possible. I was back to walking the long way to the Inn, and this time for a whole other reason.

I hadn't seen Cliff yet, and I hadn't seen Gray. The only person I could talk to was Ann herself, and even then I wasn't sure what to say. She was ecstatic after the break up. When it became closer to the time of Cliff's arrival home, she began cooking special, intricate meals even though we both knew she was a horrible cook. I couldn't talk to Kai since he was gone. I might have even tried Popouri, but when I saw her she was miserable. She still needed some more time.

Finally, I decided after those two solitary weeks, to head to the one place where I could get the advice I needed.

"Claire!" Carter said cheerfully when I walked in. "I haven't seen or heard from you in-,"

"Two weeks," I interrupted, nodding. "It's easy to count the days. Two weeks since summer ended."

Carter nodded and gestured for me to have a seat back in the front pew. He sat next to me as before, staring ahead. "Cliff stayed here for quite a while after you left. I asked if he was okay and he said he would be fine. I'm not sure if I'm supposed to tell you that."

"Thank you, Carter," I smiled for a moment. "I think he'll be a lot happier. With Ann. Without me, complicating things."

"Oh, he knew of course about Gray, Claire. He knew what took you quite a while to realize. He just didn't know when you would find out yourself. We all knew, to be honest, and we expected it to come soon. I suppose he talked himself into believing the notion that you did care for him."

"Do you think he really liked me?" I asked Carter desperately. It was the question that had been truly bothering me. "Do you think I hurt him?"

Carter hesitated. "I think he cared for you more than you cared for him, but I think overall he felt the same way. Of course, Cliff's not the type to go about and speak his mind. If you didn't say anything you two could have ended up marrying!"

I thought of the blue feather and my eyes widened. "I don't know if I'm ever going to get married," I mumbled, sighing..

Carter looked at me and then laughing, patting my back. "Oh, Claire. I'm sure you will be. There's a young man who would love to be your husband," he told me very pointedly.

I wrinkled up my nose. "I don't think so. I don't think he likes me."

"Think again, Claire. Hello, Gray!" he called over his shoulder, and once again I spun to find a young man walking down the aisle towards me, and I felt a smile spread across my face.

"Hey," Gray gave a small smile to him, and then when he looked at me it spread, and he pulled his hat down lower. "Hi Claire. How are you?"

Carter and I exchanged a look, and he smiled and then headed to his office as I said, "Better."

"Well, I thought maybe I should be the one to break this to you," he told me, his smile fading as he gestured for me to stand up with him. "Cliff and Ann are going on a date- tonight. How do you feel about that?"

I hesitated, and then looking up towards the sky. "Oh, thank Goddess! This is a huge relief. Now Ann will be happy and Cliff will be happy."

Gray chuckled. "I didn't know you'd be so happy. I thought you might be a little disappointed, actually."

"Disappointed?" I scoffed. "I've been going over my relationship with him for months. I didn't know how to do it, I didn't know if I even liked him. Now things are finally sorted out. I'm relieved, like I said."

He nodded slowly. "But now who are you gonna use that blue feather on?" he teased me.

"Oh, gosh, that thing. You almost hated me for it. I hate that thing," I muttered.

For a moment he laughed, and then he said, "That wouldn't be a horrible thing though, would it? I'm not the best friend, after all. I mean, I'm a total jerk."

"It'd be horrible if you weren't my friend anymore, Gray," I replied easily. "You're great. I mean, of course we fight all the time and everything, but would you rather we were just stuck together forever?"

"Are you comparing us to you and Cliff?" he asked, pulling his hat down once more.

My cheeks lit up. "I'm just trying to say that…that…well I would miss you most out of everyone in this town, Gray!"

"Why?" he inquired simply, not showing any more emotion. At least, the part of his face that I _could _see wasn't showing any emotion beyond straight lips.

"Oh, come on Gray. Don't make me say it," I sighed, folding my arms and looking up at him. It looked like, once again, we were going to end up fighting- over something _really _stupid this time.

"Humor me, Claire, c'mon," he told me, and then a grin spread across his face.

My jaw dropped. "Now _you _know, too?!"

"Well, I heard Cliff and Ann talking yesterday. I had a hunch before but…I thought it was just me who liked _you_, to be honest."

If I had been blushing before, I didn't even know the word for how red my cheeks were. I ran a hand through my hair and looked down before making eye contact with him again. "You mean it? After all this? After everything I've done, you actually like me?"

"Why else do you think I would get so upset over the blue feather? Why else do you think I would try so hard? Seriously, Claire," he snickered, actually lifting his hat up this time so I got a full view of his face for one of the first times in a long time.

I glared. "You're going to turn this into me being dumb now, are you? Well, you're the dumb one!" I poked his chest as hard as I could, which was not very hard. "Why else do you think I would forgive you so soon and then break things off with Cliff and avoid you?!"

"Well, when someone avoids me, I _usually _think it means they hate me-,"

"Ha ha ha, Gray, really, you should be a comedi-,"

He cut me off by giving another one of his soft chuckles and pressing his lips to mine. When he pulled back, there was a smile on both of our faces. "Do you understand now, Claire?"

I rolled my eyes. "I think I get it now, Gray."

"Really, because if you need more examples, I can-,"

"Very funny, Gray."

"I'm serious, I've got plenty-,"

I interrupted him to kiss him again, and we grinned at each other as he took my hand and we walked back down the aisle towards the church door.

People were going to ask questions, but it didn't matter. Cliff and Ann were happy, and I was happy. Gray was happy. What more could I ask for?

"But honestly, if you need me to spell it out for you-,"

"Gray!"

Author Notes: I'm pleased. (: Thank you for reading, and I hope you enjoyed. Thanks to all of the reviewers and everyone who added it to favorites or w/e I can't remember what else you can do/people did. =p Thanks, though! Sorry this story wasn't the best, I know a lot of you guys have...idk the word hahaha, criticisms? Haha I really don't know. But thanks for reading and everything anyways. :D


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